What is a life coach?

What does a life coach do an what can you expect when you work with one? Each life coach is an individual and many specialize in areas like health and fitness, career advancement, significant life changes so the process varies, but there are a few basics which make up the core of the coaching process and which tend to remain constant from one coach to the next.

The first point to remember when working with any life coach is that life coaching is not about the coach. Life coaching is about you – the client who is ready to change their life for the better. Life coaching is an inherently personal and relationship-based service. You will always be at the center of the coaching process.

Your coach will be your steadfast companion, your wise guide and your enthusiastic cheerleader but, you are in charge. You will make the decisions. You will take the action. You will reap the positive results of the changes you make.

A coach is an active listener

You have your own unique perspective, experiences, strengths, background, beliefs, and challenges which you want to address through the coaching process. Before a coach can help you, they need to get to know you, understand what you are going through and appreciate the way you think about yourself and the world around you. A coach should listen with empathy - striving to understand your specific challenges and mindset. They should listen with curiosity – seeing you and your challenges as unique, interesting and full of potential. A coach should listen with positive energy – looking for opportunities to harness your strengths with a motivating vision for the future. A coach should listen with acceptance – allowing you the space to battle your own challenges without judging you or thinking less of you as a person.

A coach is a sounding board and a mirror

As a coach listens, they will strive to reflect your own thoughts, beliefs, behaviors back to you to help you be more aware of the impact you have on your own outcomes. Your coach has the unique perspective of not being as subjectively and emotionally involved in your challenges as you are which grants them the objectivity which may elude you.

You are a smart, capable person and you are the expert on you. You probably have a lot of great ideas and insights about your own life. Having a sounding board to test those ideas on and to help you choose the best ones can be immensely helpful. A coach can help you refine and act on those ideas and insights to make real progress toward being a better version of you.

A coach is an accountability partner

A coach will ask you to take responsibility for your future and to take action to make your dreams a reality. A coach will help you keep track of your goals and evaluate your progress toward accomplishing them. Being held accountable for doing what you said you were going to do is a powerful motivator. When you have someone who is going to ask you how your week went and what progress you made on the plan you discussed last week, it’s a lot harder to procrastinate and avoid taking action.

Now that we’ve established what a coach is, let’s discuss what a coach is not.

A coach is not a fairy godmother

A coach will not wave their magic wand and solve your problems for you. Working with a coach requires effort and action on your part. A coach will offer their insight and expertise to help you to evaluate your actions and your ideas, but won’t tell you how to live your life. A coach will help you decide on next steps and set deadlines for yourself, but those next steps are yours to take. A coach will hold you accountable for following through, but the plan and the actions needed to follow through on that plan are ultimately your responsibility.

A coach is not your BFF

If you want to complain, vent some frustration and wallow in your misery, but not take action to fix your problem, your BFF is the place to go. A coach won’t let you feel sorry for yourself for long. Instead, a coach will push you to see past your problem, to establish your vision for the future and then to take the steps to get there. Coaching is a future-oriented and action-based process. It isn’t for people who aren’t ready to make the changes which will transform their lives better.

A coach is not a licensed mental health professional

If your anxiety or depression are preventing you from being able to function, you should seek medical help, not a life coach. A life coach is not a substitute for medical care. Licensed mental health professionals have received years of specialized training to understand those conditions and to help people who are suffering from them. They are far better suited to helping you though those challenges than a life coach is. If you think you might be struggling with anxiety or depression and need pharmaceutical intervention, you should see your doctor, campus health center or a counseling center.

Each coach has their own process and takes their own approach, but every coach should help you to help yourself by being a good listener, reflecting yourself back to you, holding you responsible for making improvements in your own life and giving you the push to start taking action to improve your life. If your curiosity is piqued and you are ready to learn more about life coaching, schedule a free initial consultation with me here.