The power of perception

Judgements and perceptions

Spring is approaching in many parts of the country. After a long drab winter most of us can’t wait for warmer days and greener trees. Depending upon where you live, you might already be seeing signs of spring on your campus. Have you seen trees beginning to bud? Have the crocuses and daffodils started blooming? Are yellow dandelions dotting the quad?

Is a dandelion a flower or a weed?

How did you feel when I said “dandelion”? Was it different from how you felt when I said crocuses or daffodils? Most people judge dandelions more negatively than they do daffodils. Despite the fact that dandelions are edible (both leaves and roots) and were highly valued by past generations, they have been labeled weeds by today’s society. As Wayne Dyer said, “The only difference between a flower and a weed is judgement."

This statement is true about a lot more than just flowers. It is true for every interaction and experience through our day. We are in a constant state of judging. Sometimes we judge things positively and label them as “good”.

I like him.

This professor is interesting.

This class is challenging.

It’s a beautiful day today.

That gives us a completely different experience of these people and events than the experience of someone who perceives them negatively and labels them as “bad”.

I don’t like her.

That test wasn’t fair.

This professor is too hard.

That class is boring.

This is a waste of my time.

Optimists and pessimists

Each individual has their own way of deciding if things are “good” or “bad.” We all know people who are optimists and can maintain their equanimity through any number of challenges and others who seem to complain and be defeated by the smallest setbacks. Our perception of an event depends on our past experiences, our mindset, and our mood that day as much as it does the event itself. The same person may interpret similar circumstances in much more negative ways when they haven’t had enough sleep, are feeling overwhelmed, or are having a bad day.

As we assign these judging labels to people and experiences, we influence our experience of them. We don’t change what happened, but we do change the lens through which we interpret it. How you see the things which happen to you is often more important than the things which happen in large part because your perception influences your inclination and ability to react in a positive and productive way.

Your ability to cope

Your perception doesn’t change the reality of what happened. You are still living in this moment and it is the only moment you can be living in regardless of if you like it or not. Your judgement can make your experience of the moment more or less pleasant, but it can’t change the circumstances themselves. Your judgement can however have a large impact on your reaction and your ability to cope with what happened.

Your reaction determines the resulting impact of what happened on your life. Negative perceptions can lead you to feelings of frustration, anger, hopelessness, and helplessness. They can cause you to give up on goals or to stop trying to learn new things. They place constraints on you and limit your potential.

Positive perceptions on the other hand lead you to feelings of happiness, excitement, and energy. They drive you to work harder and longer. They encourage you to reach for bigger and better goals. They help motivate you when you are tired and want to take the easy path.

Will a bad grade on the first exam in a class cause you to drop the class and quit trying to learn more about that subject or will it make you study harder and seek out tutoring? Will a fight with your roommate make you re-consider your actions and habits which led to the conflict or will it lead you to seek out another friend to complain to? Will not making the varsity team cause you to give up a sport you love or will you join the intramural team to hone your skills and try again next year.

The awareness option

There is a third perceptual option which many never consider, but which is highly effective when something objectively unpleasant happens. When seeing the silver lining in a challenging situation feels impossible, but fighting against it will only cause you more pain and stress, try being aware without judgement.

Awareness without judgement means taking the subjectivity and feelings out of the situation and observing it from a fact-driven, unemotional, detached perspective. Instead of being inside the whirlpool of negativity, you can evaluate the issue from solid ground. Awareness is the difference between the first-person perspective and the third-person perspective.

This objective approach will help you deal with the event without adding to the trauma of it with negative thoughts and feelings. By eliminating what-if thinking and catastrophizing, you can deal with the problem as it exists rather than worrying about everything else which could happen as a result of the current problem. This can blunt the worst of the impact your negative emotions have on your ability to cope. It will lead to clear headedness, good decision making, and a more stable mood.

You can’t change what happened to you, but you can change your judgement of it and your reaction to it.