Transformation

Today is my son’s birthday. Happy birthday, Evan!

11 years ago, I became a mother, I set out on the journey of growth and learning that is parenthood and my life changed completely and irrevocably. Like so many new parents, I had no idea what I was doing, how to care for a baby, or how to be a parent. It’s truly remarkable that the powers that be let any new parent take a baby home with them! It’s even more remarkable that we all figure it out and those helpless little babies survive in our care. Looking back on the journey of the past 11 years, I see how much I have learned and how much I have grown. The transformation is startling and gratifying.

It reminds me a lot of the transformation which happens over the four years students spend as undergraduate students. As new freshmen watch their parents drive away and turn to face their new lives as independent college students, a lot of the same feelings of uncertainty and inadequacy new parents feel often surface.

Those new students feel like imposters, like everyone is going to figure out that they don’t belong here and that they are just faking their way through. They try their best to fit in and to do what they are supposed to do and hope that their best will be good enough. When those same freshmen walk across the stage four years later to claim their diplomas, they have grown and changed so much. The transformation is nothing short of remarkable.

When we are busy with the day to day work it takes to thrive in our challenging lives, we can fail to recognize how much we are growing, learning, and changing as a result of the process. When we are in the middle of the metamorphosis, it doesn’t feel like we are doing much more than keeping our heads above water. We think, “I don’t feel much different than I did yesterday; I’m still just me.” It’s only when we stop to look back at where we started and see how far we have come that we recognize the transformation we have made.

As life presents us new challenges and new opportunities, we use the skills we have learned along the way to embrace and pursue them, but we often take the progress for granted unless we deliberately take the time to reflect upon our journey. How much have you changed since you started your college education? How much have you changed since you started high school? Would your ninth-grade self be completely lost and overwhelmed by the set of demands your current self deals with each day?

You learn and grow every day by the virtue of existing in such a vibrant college community and meeting your daily obligations. Sometimes the progress is so slow that you don’t notice it. Sometimes the steps are so small that they seem meaningless. But learning and growing are incremental and all of those tiny steps and seemingly insignificant lessons add up. When looked at retrospectively, the cumulative impact of those baby steps is often a giant leap.

Give yourself credit where credit is due. When you do have a moment to look back on the term or the year or your time in college, recognize all of the lessons you have learned inside and outside of the classroom. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. You have progressed so far, overcome so many challenges, and grown into a whole new person. When you compare yourself to the new student who stepped onto campus for the first time and see how much you have grown, let yourself glow with pride and then use your progress as momentum to keep moving forward. When you are facing new challenges and need a boost of confidence, bolster your self-esteem with your success stories. Encourage yourself to embrace the unknown for all of its possibilities. Imagine the person you will be when you come out on the other side of this challenge. Remember that you have done hard things before and succeeded and that the lessons you learned along the way have created the person you are today.