Recognizing Resistance

When we think about doing something new, it can feel exciting and exhilarating; it can also feel terrifying and threatening. We can and often do feel all of these emotions, and many others in between, at the same time when we consider a change to the status quo. The part of us which fights change is risk averse – what we are doing now is known and often even when what we know is not ideal, it feels safer than what we don’t know. This is especially true for the part of brain which is concerned with survival rather than with growth and challenge.

The best way for our ancient ancestors to survive was to take as few risks as possible and to stick to what they knew was safe. Resistance is a reaction to the risk of proposed change and perceived threat. Threat of failure, threat of the unknown, threat of hard work, threat of discomfort – our survival instincts shy away from anything which is harder than it needs to be or presents any type of threat.

Modern day resistance takes the form of procrastination, of wasting time, of being distracted, of avoidance, of binge-watching YouTube, and of simply not doing the things we know we need to do to succeed and instead choosing to do something easier.

Resistance

Resistance happens when you know you need to start working on the paper which is due next week, but you choose to text with friends instead because you just can’t face the research for the paper. It happens when you know you need to register for classes for next term, but you need to commit to a major first and the decision is too overwhelming, so you play your guitar for a while instead. Resistance happens when you know you need to eat better and exercise to lose some weight, but the idea of going to the gym with a bunch of fit athletes is so uncomfortable that you eat a bag of chips instead. When we do everything but what we know we need to do but don’t want to do, we are experiencing resistance.

Resistance is the equal and opposite force to your desire to change. We only change when the pain to stay the same is greater than the pain to change. While resistance is part of our human nature and therefore impossible to eliminate, if we learn to recognize it and challenge it, it is much easier to deal with and can be overcome. When we are aware of a problem, we can take responsibility for our role in the problem and become empowered to change the thoughts and actions which are at the root of the problem.

Awareness

Think about an opportunity to grow, change, learn, or challenge yourself which you have faced in the past. Did you experience any of the following symptoms of resistance?

Did you keep postponing the task or a project or a part of the project? Did you procrastinate?

Did you feel physical and emotional symptoms of anxiety – restless energy, lack of focus/concentration, increased heart rate, tension - when you thought about the project or began to engage in tasks associated with the project?

When it was time to do a task related to the project, did you distract yourself with other things which were more urgent or easier?

Were you overly self-critical when judging your progress or your ability to succeed?

Did you get so obsessed over details and perfectionism that the results you achieved were not good enough for you even if others thought you had done well?

Did you not put forth your best effort because you thought that failure wouldn’t be as threatening if you know you didn’t try your hardest?

Did you always find some excuse not to do the project and then justify your reasons for not doing what needed to be done to succeed?

Now think more generally about challenges you have faced and your reactions to them in terms of your resistance.

Are there certain types of challenges (social, athletic, academic, interpersonal, developmental etc.) which are easier for you to face than others?

What types of challenges generate the most resistance for you?

What does your resistance look like most often?

Being aware of the role resistance is playing in your life and being able to recognize your own resistance in the moment it is impacting your ability to move forward is a significant first step in combating it. Next week, we’ll talk about steps you can take to disarm your resistance and move past it.