Goals and motivation

We often find a disparity between our current state and our ideal state.

Ideally, I would have a 3.5 GPA and be on the dean’s list. Currently, I have a C average.

Ideally, I would have enough money to go out to dinner with my friends. Currently, I am broke.

Ideally, I would be fit and healthy. Currently, I am 20 pounds overweight and have trouble climbing the three flights of steps to get to my apartment.

When we find ourselves with a gap between what we want our lives to be like and what they are actually like, we have a few choices. We could focus on our problems and wallow in our inadequacy - I’m not smart enough, I don’t have the skills to get a better job, I don’t have the will power to get in shape. We could play the victim – my professors are so mean, my boss won’t pay me what I’m worth, the food in the dining hall is too unhealthy for me to lose weight. We could complain to our friends – my GPA is so low, I’m so broke, I feel so unhealthy. Though these approaches might make us feel better about ourselves, at least temporarily, none of these options will narrow the difference between where we are and where we want be.

Luckily, there is one more option. We could use the disparity to help us set goals which will allow us to get closer to our ideal states.

My goal is to make the dean’s list next term. I’m going to set up meetings with each of my professors to talk about improving my grades and put in an extra 2 hours of studying every day.

My goal is to have enough money to go out with my friends next term. I’m going to research and apply for at least 5 paid internships in my major so I can make $3,000 this summer.

My goal is to feel healthy and fit. I’m going to walk to class every day, download the Noom app and get rid of all the junk food in my dorm room to help me lose those 20 pounds.

When we set goals, we are more motivated to take action. Instead of looking to the past and everything which is wrong with our lives, we look toward the future and what we can do to improve the situation moving forward. This shift in perspective is immensely powerful and motivating. When we look forward and take action, we are more likely to learn, grow, improve and make progress toward being our best selves. The trick to maximizing your motivation is to set the right goals. There are several qualities of goals and of the mindset you approach your goals with which add extra motivating power to them.

First, the goal should be challenging. If the goal is too easy and you don’t have to work for it, you will not feel very motivated to get up and make it happen and it probably won’t make much of a difference in your proximity to your desired state. Goals which are too easy tend to lead to procrastination – I can get that done anytime, to lackluster effort – I can do this in my sleep there’s no point in putting in too much effort, and to ultimately poor results. To be motivating, a goal must stretch the limits of what we are currently capable of doing. They must require us to put in significant effort, to think creatively, to do things in a new and different way, and to learn. When goals are appropriately challenging, they are exciting, energizing, inspiring and motivating.

Second, the goal should be specific. To be motivating, a goal should state what you want to achieve (preferably using numbers as milestones), when you want to achieve it, and how you plan to go about achieving it. Goals which are specific give you a finite end point to work toward. Knowing which steps you need to take first, second, third and so on to get there gives you something to hold yourself accountable for every day and something to measure your progress against. Having a deadline gives you a sense of urgency, keeps you moving forward and motivates you to continue your pursuit of the goal. When a goal is too vague, it can be hard to know how to get started and even harder to know when you have succeeded.

Third, you need to accept the goal. You need to buy into the goal and to believe that with hard work and diligent effort you can achieve it. This is often a challenge when someone else has set the goal for you. If your professor sets a goal for you to study for 2 hours every night and complete all of the problem sets in the text and you know there is no way you are going to be able to do that, you will not feel motivated by that goal. Before you accept a goal, you need to feel that it is within the realm of possibility that you will accomplish it. We must believe that with hard work we can develop the abilities to improve enough to achieve it. If you are certain that no matter how hard you work, you will never accomplish the goal, you will not accept it and will not be motivated to take even the first step.

Finally, you need to set the intention to work hard to achieve the goal and commit to making it a priority. We all set plenty of goals for ourselves (sometimes we call them new years resolutions) and then forget about them a week or two later when we get distracted or find something better or easier to do. Making a commitment to achieving a goal means changing your current habits and routines. It means setting aside time to devote to taking the steps needed to achieve the goal. It means pushing through the challenges and hard work it will take to learn the skills you need.

Where are your current pain points? Where does your reality not match your ideal situation?

What are you currently doing to minimize that difference? Are you focused on your problems, playing the victim or complaining?

What if you set a goal to make a change instead?

Be sure to make your goal challenging and specific! Once you have a well written goal which you can accept and take ownership of, what can you do to commit to it? Can you share your goal with a friend and ask them to keep you accountable? Can you write a list of things you need to do to accomplish that goal and set deadlines for each step? Can you share your plan on social media and post your progress there?