Do your best

Are you perfect? Neither am I.

Are you doing your best? I know it’s a tough standard to uphold.

Are you improving and making better decisions as you gain life experience? I certainly hope so.

It’s easy to look back on mistakes you have made or situations which you could have handled better and to judge yourself harshly. I should have done this…., I should have known better…., I should have been more patient, kinder, more compassionate…, I should have worked harder…, I should have reacted in the way I would react today with the extra life experience I have gained since I made that decision. Maybe you weren’t actually doing your best that day (we all have our lazy moments), but maybe the problem is also that you were a different person then. You lacked the knowledge, the understanding, the insight, and the wisdom that you have gained in the time which has passed since then. If we judge our 15-year-old selves by what our 25-year-old selves are capable of, our younger versions don’t stand a chance. You were doing your best at the time. Your best just looked different then than it does now.

It is unrealistic to expect yourself to know everything and to do everything perfectly at any point in your life, but especially as you are just starting to adopt the responsibilities of an adult. The balancing act is to give your younger self grace without becoming so attached to and defensive of their opinions that you are unable to see the way forward to making better decisions inspired by everything you have learned since.

The key is not to be perfect, but to do the best you can as you are today and to be open to learning from the times when your best doesn’t turn out as well as you thought it would. When you are presented with new information, new opinions, new perspectives, new experiences, new acquaintances and you are able to integrate and assimilate that novelty without judging your past self, you become wiser and your best gets better.