Accentuate the positive

When I say feedback, what do you think about? Praise, encouragement, and a list of all the things you are doing right or criticism, a discussion of the things you did wrong, and a threat to your confidence and self-esteem. Probably the latter. Most feedback you receive has probably been corrective – it focused on your mistakes or your weaknesses and finding a way to correct them. This pattern starts when you are in school but reaches far beyond the assignment of grades and red ink on exams. Most professional evaluations and annual performance reviews in the workplace also seek out deficiencies and focus on improving areas of perceived weakness.

There is a better way to improve than focusing on everything which is wrong with you. You can only make so much progress by focusing on overcoming your natural disinclination toward tasks and skills which you find to be difficult. While it is important to be aware of your liabilities and work to improve them, struggling against them constantly can be discouraging and exhausting. Trying to fit into the cookie cutter mold of the ideal student or employee with all of the “right” qualities is something we have all tried and failed to do. As an individual, you are probably naturally good at some things and less good at other things.

Rather than focusing on improving weaknesses, why not take the radical approach of concentrating on maximizing your strengths? You’ve been told repeatedly what your weaknesses are, but have you ever taken time to list the things you are good at and think about how you can use them to increase your success?

Happiness is found in focusing on strengths not on weaknesses. You feel better when you are doing things you are naturally drawn to or have skills in. When you feel better, you can work harder and stick with a task longer than you can when you are fighting against the resistance you feel when addressing your weaknesses.

Working on your strengths gives you a feeling of accomplishment and ease. Your self-esteem and confidence get a boost. The joy which comes with a sense of mastery gives you the energy to challenge yourself to take the next step to develop that strength. Notice you are still doing the work of self-improvement, you are just enjoying it more and making more progress than you were when you were constantly fighting against your weaknesses.

One of my favorite theoretical models to evaluate strengths is the Values in Action model. This model defines 24 strengths – qualities like Curiosity, Love of Learning, Social Intelligence, Forgiveness, and Gratitude - which each of us display to some extent. By taking their free 10 minutes assessment, you can determine which of those 24 strengths are your signature strengths – the ones you display most often and with the most ease.

When you know what your signature strengths are, you can work to include more activities which use those strengths in your daily routine. Including activities which allow you to use your signature strengths in your daily routine will help you to feel less stressed and more accomplished.

You can also get creative about how to use your strengths to improve your performance in and enjoyment of activities which might be challenging for you. If one of your signature strengths is bravery, you could recognize how brave you have to be to learn something new and use the energy from your strength to push you through the hard parts of that learning process. If you have a strength of kindness, you could use it to make a connection with people who ask you for help at your work study job in the library to overcome the boredom and monotony of the job.

Each strength can be used in many different ways and in many different career paths. Be creative about how you look at the tasks you have to do every day. How can you use your strengths to make those tasks easier or more enjoyable? Can you apply your strength of perspective to help you rise above the stress of your busy schedule? Can you use your strength of fairness to see someone else’s point of view in the middle of a conflict? Can you call on your strength of hope to magnify the light at the end of the tunnel and get yourself through finals week?

What are your key strengths?

How are you using them in your life right now?

How can you change things so you can use them more?